Being a “thank you” person isn’t about being overly polished or perfectly punctual. It’s about noticing the good and choosing to name it. It’s a way of living that keeps you grounded in connection, not just in the big moments, but in the tiny, often overlooked ones. When you make appreciation part of your system, you don’t just build better relationships—you build a better world, one sincere thank you at a time.
Have you ever written a heartfelt thank you card and then watched it hibernate in your junk drawer until spring? In today’s episode, I’m sharing simple systems for expressing gratitude and becoming a thank-you person just in time for Thanksgiving.
From handwritten notes to real-time compliments and even thank-you pizzas (with a lesson on paper plates), this episode is packed with quick wins to make gratitude part of your everyday life. I also get personal about the NICU, share how I’m teaching my daughter to say thank you in scribbles, and dive into why setting systems for appreciation can transform relationships.
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Why Gratitude Needs a System
We all mean to say thank you, but meaning to and doing it? Two very different things.
Life gets noisy and we get busy. We forget where we put the stamps, and the moment passes. That card you wrote in November is still sitting in a drawer when you’re searching for scissors on Valentine’s Day.
That’s why I’ve learned to build habits around appreciation so it actually happens. Growing up, my mom had one firm rule: thank you notes were written the day you received the gift. It didn’t matter if it was a birthday or Hanukkah. You sat down. You wrote the card. You got it done.
That practice got baked into who I am. Now that my daughter is old enough to hold a crayon, we do it together. She scribbles her abstract masterpieces. I write the words. We send it off. Because thank yous don’t have to be fancy, they just have to be said.
My 3 Go-To Thank You Systems
These are quick, repeatable, and require zero glitter glue. (Unless you’re into that.)
1. Thank You in Real Time
When you see something worth acknowledging, say it now.
Great service? Compliment the person on the spot. Saw someone go the extra mile? Drop a quick email.
Most people only speak up when something’s wrong. So being the one who speaks up with kindness stands out.
When we were in the NICU with our daughter, we stayed at a nearby hotel. The front desk clerk, Elizabeth, went out of her way to check in on us, asking for updates, wanting to see photos, and genuinely caring. Before we checked out, I wrote to her manager to let them know how much she impacted us.
If I’d waited until we got home, it might never have happened.
2. Thank You By Proxy
If someone takes care of someone you love, that deserves thanks too.
Whenever a family member’s in the hospital, I send food and handwritten notes to the nurses. Cookies, gift cards, or even pizza. (Pro tip: don’t forget the plates.)
If one nurse really stood out, I find out their shift schedule so I can make sure the thank you actually reaches them and not just an empty box of donuts left in the break room.
It’s not about overthinking it. It’s about being thoughtful.
3. Thank You in Advance
This is my favorite little email trick.
Any time I ask someone for feedback, help, or even their opinion, I end with: “Thank you so much for taking the time to look this over.”
It subtly shifts the tone. Gratitude becomes the default, not the afterthought.
It doesn’t just set a kind tone. It often makes people more inclined to respond thoughtfully, too.
When Gratitude Becomes Legacy
One of the biggest gratitude systems I’ve ever created isn’t just about saying thank you—it’s about easing the load for the people I love.
It’s what I call the Entrepreneur’s Death Folder.
Morbid name? Yes. Incredibly helpful? Also yes.
It’s a centralized place where all my business documents, logins, SOPs, and personal essentials live. Because when something unexpected happens, the people you care about are already carrying enough. Having everything organized for them is like saying, “I thought of you. I’ve got you covered.”
It’s not just responsible. It’s an act of love.
Explore the Entrepreneur’s Death Folder >>
A Dash of Fictional Gratitude (My Favorite Thanksgiving TV Moments)
Gratitude doesn’t always look like a Hallmark movie. Sometimes it looks like total chaos, so I’d like to share a few of my favorite Thanksgiving episodes to rewatch each year.
Brooklyn Nine-Nine – “Lockdown”
Jake’s in charge of the precinct during Thanksgiving, and (surprise) it does not go well. Peak Captain Holt sarcasm. Peak holiday dysfunction.
Bob’s Burgers – “Now We’re Not Cooking with Gas”
Bob goes full survivalist trying to cook a heritage turkey over an open flame. Everything goes hilariously wrong, as it should.
Friends – “The One with the Rumor”
This episode is absurd, fast-paced, and full of iconic lines. Brad Pitt guest-starring? Chef’s kiss. My mom and I watched it every year. Now my husband is (reluctantly) part of the tradition.
Becoming a Thank-You Person
Review the Transcript:
Welcome back to the System for Everything podcast, today’s system tip. Wanna make sure your thank you notes actually get sent. Order the stamps before you write the cards. Otherwise, they’ll live in your drunk drawer. Until Valentine’s Day. Hi friends. Happy Thanksgiving week. I wanted to go ahead and pop in with a short solo episode today because there is really no better time to talk about gratitude and the systems that.
Make it easier to show it. Before we get into it, I want you to take a second and think about the last time someone really thanked you. Not a quick thanks text, not an email sign off, but something that made you pause for a second and feel genuinely seen. Got it. Okay. That feeling. Is what this episode is about, creating more of growing up.
My mom had one firm holiday rule. You wrote your thank you notes the day you received the gift. Birthday Hanukkah didn’t matter. You sat down. You grabbed a card and you got it done. It’s never that I thought that that was a cruel and unusual punishment, but I am grateful for that practice. Now, it’s a habit that is just baked into who I am, and now that Ellie is old enough to hold a cray, we do it together.
She draws a masterpiece of multicolored squiggles. I write the words and we send it off because thank yous don’t have to be perfect. They just have to be said. Okay, so let’s talk about what I call my thank you systems. They’re small, simple, and honestly, they keep you from becoming the person who says, I’ll send a note later and never does.
Number one, thank you in real time. If you see great service, call it out immediately. I am the person that will email a company just to say, Hey, your employee did this and this, and they were wonderful. Most people. Only reach out when they’re mad or complaining. So being a, the positive call really stands out.
Uh, my husband and I were in the NICU with our daughter and we stayed at a hotel in Austin, a mile from the hospital. It was a Marriott, and I’m not sure that they were really used to guests staying more than a night or two. And we really got to know this front desk clerk named Elizabeth. Um, she went. Out of her way to learn about us.
Wanted to see photos of our daughter hear about her progress. I made sure to write down her name and I also got a card for the manager of the hotel so I could share an email about just how much she impacted us and what an asset to their brand she was. And because life happens, I made sure to do this while we were still staying in the hotel.
Number two. Thank you By proxy. If someone takes care of someone you love, thank them. When a family member is in the hospital, I always send thank you food and handwritten notes. For the nurses, they are a part of the story. Um, from several nurses I’ve asked, they agree that cookies and gift cards are the easiest.
I sent a pizza once after my husband had a surgery. I did not think to send plates. That was probably a bad call, but if one particular nurse is on your heart, if they really made a difference. My mom recently had her gallbladder taken out and there was a nurse that just went above and beyond and was with us.
So patient, so calm. So I made sure to find out when her next shift was, because a lot of. Nurses work, you know, three 12 hour days a week and then they’re off. Um, and so I wanted to know when will she be here next? ’cause I wanted to make sure she got to partake in the treats and was not just left with crumbs.
All right, number three. Thank you in advance. This is my secret email trick. Anytime I ask someone for help or feedback, I always end with. Thank you so much for taking the time to look this over. Um, it really sets gratitude as the default tone and not an afterthought. And none of these things take more than a few minutes of your time, but they will change how people feel around you.
Gratitude really is a system. It’s not a grand gesture, it’s just it a consistent one. And because the podcast is called the System for Everything, I would be lying if I didn’t mention one of the biggest gratitude systems I’ve ever built. Entrepreneurs death folder. It is one thing to thank people for what they’ve done for you, but the ultimate act of gratitude is making things easier on them.
When something unexpected happens, your loved ones are already carrying so much. Having your passwords, business details and instructions in one place. I mean, that is like saying, I thought of you. I’ve got you covered. That’s gratitude and action. You can find the link in the show notes if you wanna create your own version this season.
All right, let’s close things out with a system. Shut down three of my favorite Thanksgiving TV episodes because nothing pairs better with gratitude than fictional chaos. Number three, Brooklyn nine nines lockdown. Jake is in charge while everyone else is gone, and obviously the pricing goes into lockdown.
I mean, it is holiday leadership and it’s absolute worst, and I just love it, and it contains my very favorite Captain Holt line. What an idiotic thing to say. It’s a Thanksgiving gift. Number two, Bob’s burgers. Now we’re not cooking with gas. Bob’s Burgers always has good Thanksgiving episodes, but I love this one because his quest to, to make a heritage Turkey over an open flame goes exactly how you think it will badly and hilariously.
And number one, my all time favorite Thanksgiving episode. Friends, the one with the rumor. This is the Brad Pitt guest star episode, and honestly, it is peak Thanksgiving absurd. Like absurdity, the pacing is insane. Not a single second is wasted. Nonstop, classic lines like including one of my favorite images as a romancer of the elderly.
Or just take off your shirt and tell us, my mom and I, and now my reluctant husband. Watch this every single Thanksgiving. So grab some pie. Watch your favorite people, real or fictional, and remember saying thank you. Doesn’t have to take three pages. Sometimes it’s just showing up, saying it and meaning it.
Thanks for spending part of your Thanksgiving week with me. You enjoyed this quick episode. Share it with someone who makes your life a little better and tell them why. I’ll see you next week for another episode to carry you through the holidays. Season, happy Thanksgiving.
