The System for Laughing at the Worst Thing That Ever Happened to You with Macey Isaacs

Julie: [00:00:00] Welcome back to the System for Everything Podcast. Today’s system tip: if you’re going through something difficult, remember, someday it might be funny. Probably not today. Definitely don’t tell yourself that today. There are some things that happen in life that are so bad, you assume they will never be funny, and then there are comedians. Today’s guest is Macy Isaacs, a touring stand-up comedian who has opened for legends like Tom Segura, Dusty Slay, and Chelsea Handler. Most recently, she was a featured comedian on Kevin Hart’s Funny AF on Netflix. You can also watch her Don’t Tell comedy special How I Lost My Teeth on YouTube. My husband and I started watching Funny AF on Netflix when it came out, and I have not stopped thinking about Macy’s audition since. She walked into what was arguably one of the biggest opportunities of her career so far and decided to [00:01:00] tell jokes about having multiple miscarriages, which is a sentence that, on paper, does not exactly scream comedy. But I laughed. Like- A lot and, like, immediately. I, I was less interested in the subject matter she was joking about and more interested in how her brain got there, because comedians spend their lives doing something the rest of us generally try very hard to avoid. They walk directly towards embarrassment, rejection, awkwardness, and sometimes genuinely terrible experiences, and then stay there long enough to notice something funny. So I want to understand that system. When does something painful become something you can play with? How do you make an audience comfortable enough to laugh at something they initially think they’re not allowed to laugh at? What happens when you get really good at surviving discomfort? Macy is someone who has spent years figuring out what happens when you stop running away from discomfort and start looking for the joke inside it, and I’m so excited she’s here today. [00:02:00] Macy, thank you so, so much. Macey: That was such a good intro. I for- I thought I was just listening to a podcast. I was like, “Oh, I can’t wait to hear who’s on. Oh, who’s gonna be on this? This is gonna– This is right up my alley.” That was great. Julie: All right, we’re gonna start every episode as we always do with the system reboot, a quick reset to start our episode with some humor and humanity. All right, Macy, what is the dumbest thing that can make you cry? Macey: I like to think anything that makes me cr- like, it’s not… I’m a crier, so, um, I… And I, I used to be very ashamed of it when I was a little kid. Like, I just– ’cause I cr- I cried too mu- I cried at s- A- And so, so then I, like, I… Now, though, that I’ve sort of learned that it’s okay, I– n-now that I’m a comedian, I kinda have the whole day I can cry, and it’s fine. You know- … it doesn’t really affect, um… It’s, it’s wonderful. But I cry at really weird, uh, like a really wonderful… I mean, t- a lotta TV, movies, like, things that, uh, don’t… You know, I saw [00:03:00] The Odyssey, and, um, the dog, when, um… I don’t wanna ruin anything, but there’s a, a moment with the dog in the… And I- it’s, uh… I was, you know, mad about how they treated the dog obviously, but then there was a moment at the end with the dog, and I, I cried. And I was like, “Well, I cried in The Odyssey,” but it was just that part. Julie: All right. What is something you are wildly overconfident about despite having absolutely no evidence that you’re actually good at it? Is this, do these questions you ask everyone, or are these, Macey: uh, do you mix it up? Julie: I mix it up, well, ev- for everyone. Macey: Oh, okay. Julie: Yeah, yeah. Macey: I would just be so curious how other people answer this question. Julie: Yeah, sometimes it’s just things like, “What snack is your personality?” Macey: Oh, whoa. Okay. I was really thinking bigger. I was like… ‘Cause, like, I do think I would be… I think I could, like, be really good in a physical fight. Julie: I often think that I would win, and I don’t even know how to punch. There’s no way I could even punch someone. Macey: S- okay, so that is w- that [00:04:00] is wildly confident for no… I’ve i- yeah, I’ve taken some boxing classes at least. Oh, Julie: you’ve at least got Macey: that- But, Julie: um- … under your belt. Macey: Yeah. But I’ve never, like, you know, f- but I think I could if I really needed to. I also think, yeah, like, I can do something, I can get really scrappy if I need to. Julie: All right. And now because I admire you so much as a comedian, I wanna know who makes you laugh the most. Macey: A sh- like, I’ll say a, a TV show that, uh, really made me laugh recently, um, was Widow’s Bay, and- Okay … it was the, um- It’s on my Julie: to-watch list. Still haven’t Macey: watched it. Yeah. It, um, there’s a character in it, uh, I think her name is, is, it’s like Kate O’Flynn or something. I need to lo- I need to… I’ve been watching a lot of videos about her, but she’s a British actress that I had, was not aware of and, until this show, and she just, she kills me. Julie: I love it. I gotta check it out. All right, everyone, Macy is a comedian who has figured out how to make people laugh in places where [00:05:00] laughter can feel almost forbidden. What grabbed me about her comedy wasn’t just that she was willing to joke about miscarriage, it was that the humor seemed to create a completely different way into a conversation that most people struggle to have at all. And that’s what I wanna understand today, how you take something painful and find the absurdity buried inside it, and turn your own experience into something that makes other people feel a little less alone. Here’s my conversation with Macy Isaacs on the system for laughing at the worst thing that ever happened to you. All right, well, I have to start, I mean, exactly where I found you, ’cause you walked into Funny AF in front of Kevin Hart and chose to talk about multiple miscarriages. Not- Macey: Mm-hmm … Julie: like, the obvious choice for, “Oh, I’m gonna win over the room this way.” So you walk in to this huge opportunity and choose that material. Why that set on that night? Macey: I didn’t know if I, how long I was gonna continue on the show, you know, ’cause it was a competition. So, you [00:06:00] know, some people I think thought- Let me do… I don’t know. It- there’s like a couple of different ways you could have go- gone about it. I could have done some safer material up front, hope that I get through, and then c- but like that is the actual material that I would want to… Like, if I only had three minutes on Netflix, that’s what I would want it to be. So I was just like, “Okay, this is my shot. I’m gonna go ahead and do this.” I also knew that, like, they were gonna be sitting through a lot of comics and, um, no one else was probably going to talk about that. So I was like, this is at least a way that I can, uh, stand out. Uh, y- and that’s just the… At the time, that was the material that I, I cared, and, and still, like, that’s kind of the material I care most about. So, like, that’s what I wanted to do. Julie: Take me back to the first time you realized that there was actually something funny in what you’d been through. Do you remember, like, the first joke you made about it? [00:07:00] Macey: I remember I was already… I was doing the joke about, um… Well, it was hard because I felt like I really wanted to talk about it, but yeah, some of the audience was like, “What are you doing?” I noticed that the reason… So I say a joke that I, um, I had, you know, a few miscarriages, and then you feel that, like, uh-oh, and then I, I try to… I say barely, but I barely knew him And that, but I barely knew him was really important ’cause it broke… It made people feel really quickly like, “Oh, okay.” But at the same time, it was, it was true. They were early on. I think that that’s also, you know, gives people a little bit permission to laugh if, if they know that it… Although they don’t- maybe don’t realize that it was an early miscarriage when I say that. But that’s, that’s kind of a… I did that on purpose to try to make them feel like it was okay for them to laugh. And [00:08:00] I, um, and I remember going back and forth. I was like, “Is I hardly knew him funnier? I hardly knew him, I barely knew him.” I went back and forth. And then, um, I remember I was already saying… I was working on stage about calling them Irish miscarriages because they were, you know, happened two in the same year. And, and I was with my friend Pippa, who’s another comic, and we were walking, and she s- she mentioned that someone did an Irish goodbye somewhere. And I was like, “Oh my God.” And then it just, like, all clicked. And I was like, “Oh, that’s what I gotta s- That’s also an Irish goodbye.” And then, so I don’t remember the exact moment w- the, where I started. I, I came up with Irish miscarriages, but I remember the Irish goodbye. That’s how that happened. Julie: Do you think there can be a jo- a, like, a difference between making a joke that y- because you’ve processed something and making a joke because you’re trying not to process it? Macey: I think if you’re making a joke about it, you’re trying to process it. I think it’s totally… I think you’re trying to process it in at [00:09:00] least the only way you can. You know, it’s, it’s possible that I think I avoided a lot of stuff by making jokes growing up Um, but now I think if I’m joking about it, I’m also processing it. But I think it, it totally depends on the person ’cause I, you know, I think that it can be like a coping mechanism or it can be a defense mechanism. Julie: Yeah. I definitely used to use it that way. I have- I made… I was the, the queen of dead dad jokes, and would like purposely just try to like disarm people and almost make them feel uncomfortable ’cause I’m like, “That’s how I feel inside right now, so you should have to feel that way.” Which was, you know, me almost 20 years ago. So, you know, I, I like to think as I’ve aged and had therapy, I handle it a little differently. But I still make a lot of jokes. Macey: Do Julie: you Macey: think it was also trying [00:10:00] to like get ahead of it a little bit? Like, I’m gonna bring this up ’cause you’re i- thinking about it or? Julie: I guess. I… Maybe not. Uh, uh, I, I think maybe about certain other things I would do that, but like not about the dead dad stuff because it was never like I thought someone was gonna bring it up like, ” Caller: Oh, your dad died.” Julie: Oh, Macey: right. No one’s gonna… If that was happening, you move. That’s crazy. Julie: That’s when you punch, and you see how you do in a fight. That’s Macey: when you… That’s ex- that’s when it happens. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Julie: Has there been like another experience in your life where you remember realizing like, “Oh, that is funny now”? Macey: I will say I’m pretty… I think, um, I can pretty quickly find the f- funny as soon as it happens, but there… I do need some time to pass sometimes for some things. And there will even be, like when I was working on that miscarriage material, there would be nights where I’m just like, “I can’t go there.” Like, and I would do different material ’cause it would just [00:11:00] didn’t feel right. It felt like, ooh, I don’t, I don’t f- feel like that’s what I wanna talk about right now. But Like, I was a nanny for a long time for this family and, um, I went d- to visit them yesterday, and all these memories started rushing back that I’m like, “Oh my God.” Like, funny stuff that we went through that I didn’t… I don’t think I talked about it, ’cause I was doing standup. That was kind of, that was my day job, and I, I didn’t really talk about it ’cause I was so in it. You get so used to it, and it’s like, oh, the, you know, the ridiculousness of, you know, being a nanny in Los Angeles. And then, uh, so I do think there are times where you’re so in it that you kinda need to step away to see the humor in it, but I think the healing part of it is hopefully you can kind of very quickly see the humor. That way you can, um, get… It’s easier to get through. Julie: You [00:12:00] have made comedy out of pregnancy loss. You’ve made comedy out of literally getting your teeth knocked out, and then you can make this observation about something completely mundane very funny too. So I’m curious about what you’re actually noticing that the rest of us as non-comedians aren’t. Can you take me into your brain when something terrible or when something embarrassing happenings, like at what point does Macy the person disappear and Macy the comedian starts taking notes? Macey: I don’t know if this is healthy, but I don’t know that those two are different people. Julie: No. Macey: I don’t know if, yeah, the person and the comedian, I think, um- That’s Julie: fair. Macey: That’s Julie: totally fair. And like, it’s such a big piece, that’s just innately you. Macey: Yes. And I, and I, I’ve been thinking about this because I had a lot of depression and anxiety growing up, and- Oh, Julie: shout out … Macey: shout out to all the depression- … and anxiety listening. And my mind was just constantly, like, it just wouldn’t stop. And so I think [00:13:00] that’s why I latched onto certain things and felt anxious about things and, and now that I have comedy, I’ve realized that my mind is always going, but now I can like… It can go about jokes and seeing things and, like, writing. It’s like it’s helped me, it’s helped calm my mind or take my mind to a better place than before. So it’s kinda like even before I did comedy, I think my mind was still… It was very similar. It just didn’t have anything to latch onto. Julie: Do you ever, like, catch yourself observing your own life instead of actually being in it because you’re already thinking about how you’ll tell the story? Macey: That’s such a… I feel like I’m really sick of listening to podcasts and hearing, “That’s such a good question,” ’cause I say it after every single question, but may I just say that’s such a good question? I- Aw, thank you … I think that… I don’t know. I feel like my observing is my living in it. And I re- and maybe that’s also something that I just need to [00:14:00] personally work on, ’cause I do think there is a… Sometimes I, I feel, I don’t know, not fully… W- I feel fully in it, like, when I’m on stage. Like, I definitely feel fully… ‘Cause I’m not… I may be commenting on things and, but I’m not, I’m, like, in the flow. You know, hopef- not always. There are b- But ideally, you know. And, like, when I’m talking to people, like right now, I don’t feel like I’m necessarily observi- Like, you know, if you started, like, clipping your nails right now, you know, I might be like- Julie: Did you not want me to do that? Macey: Did you already do it? Are you so good that y- I didn’t even notice? Julie: I’m doing it right now. Macey: Gross. Julie: Can Macey: you imagine? Those are quiet nail clippers. Julie: That is the worst AMSR I can think of. Macey: That’s bad. But, you know, if, if that started happening, it’d sort of take me out of it a little bit, um, the conversations. I- So that’s a hard question for me to answer, because I sort of feel like I ta- even taking notes on [00:15:00] things, it helps me, it helps me be in it. Julie: I think one of the things I found so fascinating about watching you was just that tiny moment when I first thought, “Oh my God, am I supposed to laugh at this?” Macey: Mm-hmm. Julie: Mm-hmm. And then you made the answer very obviously yes, and there are so many situations in normal life where we feel discomfort and immediately try to get out of it. But as a comedian, you voluntarily walk into rooms where there is a very real possibility that you will say something and nobody will laugh, which is a very real reason I think that I could not ever handle being a stand-up, even if I, like, wanted to try and get good at it. Like, when you tell an audience something terrible has happened to you, can you feel that split second where they’re thinking Are we allowed to laugh? Macey: Absolutely. And that’s why I, you know, hopefully the- I try to come up with a very quick way to say something to make them [00:16:00] know that they can laugh. I think there… ‘Cause I think there are comics who like that, the discomfort. I don’t real- Like, I’m not talking about this because I want them to feel uncomfortable. I’m just talking about it ’cause this is, like, something that happened to me, and I also… I mean, not to… I, I am just amazed at, like, how little it’s talked about. And, like, I didn’t even really know anything about miscarriage till it happened to me, and then I find out it’s so common, and I’m like, “Why is this not, like…” It’s go- And also it’s like I, I haven’t talked about this yet really on stage, but I had a, um, ovarian cyst burst last year. Julie: Ooh, ow. Macey: And it was the worst pain I’ve ever felt in my life, and I didn’t know that’s what that was. I had no idea. Like, I was like, “Oh,” And this was actually the day before one of the filmings of Funny AF, and so I was like, “Oh my God, I have to be, like, on set tomorrow morning, and now I’m going to the emergency room and I think I’m dying.” And it turns out that’s all that it was, and I’m like, “Why haven’t I’ve never really heard… I mean, I’ve heard [00:17:00] of cis bursting, but not really. Like, why are we talking about this? This is crazy. Julie: And it’s just every time you do talk about it, it just helps someone make… like, feel less alone. Like, “Oh, that’s what that was. I can put a name to that.” Macey: Yeah. So then, so I don’t… I always think the most important thing is obviously to be funny. I actually think the most kind of important thing is to connect, but the way to do it for comedy is to be funny, so my intention was also sort of like I wanna talk about things that I’m not hearing other people talk about, ’cause this is crazy. So, but my point, my point is I don’t en- necessarily enjoy… I kinda like the moment where I don’t… they don’t know what they think about me. That’s kinda fun, because it’s like, “Oh, I’m gonna try to win you over.” But I don’t ever wanna make someone uncomfortable on purpose. Julie: Can anyone actually run your business? Like, really run it, access the passwords, find the contracts, contact your clients, locate the invoices, figure out [00:18:00] what’s due next. Most businesses are living on one person’s brain, and that is terrifying. This episode is brought to you by the Entrepreneur’s Death Folder, the system that organizes everything your business literally cannot afford to lose. Is there a joke you can remember telling? Like, you don’t have to remember the exact joke or anything, but, like, is there a joke you can remember where you realize, like, “Oh, they are not with me on this journey”? And, like, what do you do in that moment? Macey: You know, you… There’s a couple… Like, last night I did a show, and they were not with me, and I wasn’t even… I was doing… I was not doing anything deep. I was doing silly stuff, and it turns out they weren’t really with anyone. And at least we ha- the comics ha- Just Julie: a sucky audience. Macey: Yeah. And so we had each other at least. The comics would be like, “Yeah, it was like that for me. It was…” You know, so we felt less alone for sure, which is so helpful, but that doesn’t always happen. Sometimes it is specifically you. I think [00:19:00] that there’s really no way to… You, you just gotta either… I think it’s w- you gotta pivot in the moment, be like, “Okay, they’re not going, so I’m gonna pivot.” Or, like, but if you’re working on it and you’re trying to practice it, y- then you can just go, “This is what… this is where we’re going. This is what we’re doing, so I’m on- only gonna be up here a couple more minutes, so just relax,” you know? Julie: You have talked before about hitting that 10-year milestone in stand-up where you finally felt more comfortable claiming, like, that label of comic. What changed for you? What allowed you to, to claim that? Macey: You really do your homework. Caller: Thank you. I really do. I love Julie: researching people. Like, I, I think I probably spent, like, three times as long researching as recording. Macey: Wow. I mean, that’s amazing. I think for so long I was doing comedy hoping that I would get enough people to tell me that, “You know, you should be doing this, and you need to keep doing it.” I think I was doing [00:20:00] it for the validation, and I needed that. And I think around the 10-year mark, and I don’t know if… I don’t think it’s, it’s probably not coincidence, but I just kind of realized that, like, I have to be the one that’s… I have to know that I’m worth doing it. I can’t keep… I’ve also, I was very lucky, and I had enough people who were supportive that I do think did help me. You know, I had enough people… You know, like, I did, I started in a stand-up class, and I’m still, like, best friends with some of those people that I met in that stand-up class. I, I didn’t even start stand-up until I met someone in an improv class, and she’s, sh- she’s still, we’re great friends, and like… So, so I’ve had a lot of people, like, be supportive. I don’t think that’s the… I think the key is you have to believe in yourself and that you, even, it’s like, even if no one believes in you, you still have to believe in yourself, and that’s what matters more. So I, um… And I did always secretly believe in myself, but I think I [00:21:00] thought that was kind of, like, pompous or… To answer the question, I think what changed is I was like, “I’m gonna do this ’cause I wanna do this.” And not just want, but, like, I do think I, I feel like sort of called to do. Like, I do think it’s kind of like my, yeah. Um, but at the same time, I feel it aligns with kind of what has gone on. Like, I’m doing what I’m supposed to be doing. Julie: I love that. Has, has becoming more comfortable with being able to fail on stage changed the way you handle rejection or failure anywhere else in your life? Macey: It’s gotta… You’d think it’d make it easier And maybe it has, and I just can’t really tell. But I do, I do feel pretty, like, tough. Like, I do feel like I can handle rejection and the… ‘Cause so much of it is, you know, it’s almost more rejection off stage with comedy than on stage because you’re dealing… There’s so many things that, you know, you’re not getting, you’re seeing other people get, and it’s really [00:22:00] hard. But I think, uh, I think it’s made me m- tougher for sure. Julie: I think, you know, most of us out listening will never bomb in front of a comedy club, but, like, we’re, we’re all going to fail and sit in rooms where we just desperately wish we could disappear, and you have spent years practicing how to stay, and I think that that’s a really cool trait. Um, you also host a podcast. You co-host a podcast, uh, That’s Our Time, where comedy and mental health are literally, like, holding hands, and I’m just, like, fascinated by that because we talk so casually about humor as a coping mechanism as if, like, coping mechanisms are automatically healthy just because they work. Um, has spending so much time talking about mental health changed the way you understand your own sense of humor at all? Macey: I think it’s made me understand my, yeah, understand my sense of humor more so, and, um, I think… [00:23:00] ‘Cause there would be times, you know, people would say, like, you know, “You’re, you’re so dark. Your material’s so dark,” and I’m like, “I don’t really see it like that.” And that’s ’cause it’s just, I’m just kind of… Also understanding my, my parents’ mental health and my f- my whole family’s mental health has made me realize how much their sense of humor and mental health has really shaped me. And I think both of my parents are very, uh… Now I see that they both have a very dark sense of humor, but that was just normal for me. S- so now I, I can see, like, oh, I… Like, my dad, this is just an example. He had a quadruple bypass surgery in February and, like, it wasn’t looking good. I went there, and, uh, he woke up from surgery. The nurse came in And said like, you know, “How, how are you feeling?” And he said, “With my fingers.” And I [00:24:00] didn’t get it at first. You got it quicker than I did. I was like, “What?” Like, I thought… Like, my cousin was in there too. She like panicked. She thought it was like a sexual innuendo or like we were like- Oh, God. … “What?” And, and then I got it. I was like, “What?” And that was like the first thing that came out of his mouth w- like after surgery. Julie: That is so funny. Macey: Yeah. And I was like, “Wow.” And, and so it’s like I know that that is… He was always the kind of the funny guy and used humor to cope as well. So and I think talking to so many comedians and hearing that. Actually, there is one episode I did with Mandy Martino, who is… She’s actually the one who got me into standup. She’s the one I met at an improv class who told me I should do standup, and she talked a lot about using humor as a coping mechanism as a kid. And so I think a lot of… And if you can, I just think it’s really cool that, like, you use this and maybe for a while it maybe hindered you, but then now comedians can use it to bring joy to people. And by hinder you, I just mean might [00:25:00] c- might have kept you from feeling what you needed to feel or whatever. But I just think it’s cool that now we can turn it into something that other people can, you know, get some joy out of. No idea if I answered your question. Julie: You definitely did. Macey: Okay. You see, I told you I’m a talker. Julie: Do you think t- in today’s, like, landscape of, like, TikTok therapy speak videos and all that stuff, do you think we just, like, sometimes put too much pressure on ourselves to turn painful experiences into, like, something meaningful? Like, can something sometimes just suck and then also eventually be funny? Macey: Yes. And sometimes it’s, it can suck and we don’t know. I think it’s nice to be able to find some sort of meaning, ’cause we’re all trying to make a narrative, you know, we’re, for ourselves, and it makes it a more understandab- yeah, it makes it easier for our brains to understand if there’s a reason behind it. But I don’t think, um, we can find that always right away, or maybe ever. But [00:26:00] yeah, I don’t… But I do think I, I get why we do that. Julie: Do you think comedy has made you better at sitting with other people’s pain too? Like, when someone you love tells you something really terrible, are you more comfortable not trying to fix it? Macey: I think, I actually think maybe, yes. And I don’t know if that’s just ’cause I’ve gotten, you know, as you get older, that might be something you get better at. I don’t know. Yeah, I definitely think I’m better at sitting in discomfort. That is true, yeah. I used to t- take improv classes at, um, it’s this place called the Fanatic Salon here in Los Angeles, and Jane and, and Michael were the teachers. Not Jane and Mi- it was Jeff Makowski and Jane Morris. But they, um, Jeff would say to, like, tolerate the ambiguity. You have to be able to tolerate the ambiguity, and that, like, has really stuck with me, and I think that, like, if I ever get kind of, like, I need to, I don’t [00:27:00] understand, I kind of, like, will remind myself of that phrase. And he meant it in improv, but I mean it at, you know, you could also think about that when you’re, um, dealing with a difficult situation or someone’s telling you something and you don’t know where it’s going. Julie: After all of these years of turning uncomfortable things into jokes, what do you think that laughter actually does to the way we carry the worst parts of our lives? Macey: I mean, I, it’s, uh, it’s kind of cliched, but I feel like it just, it can heal us. You know, I, just like I also think, you know, sometimes you need to cry it out. Sometimes you can, you know, laugh it out. And, um, I also think that laughter is, if, I think it’s some- something really special happens when people laugh at the same time at the same thing. It’s, like, really cool that we, it’s like this, it’s like this involuntary connection, uh, that we all have, and [00:28:00] I think that that’s just really powerful. And I don’t, you know, I don’t know exactly w- brain chemistry, I don’t know what’s really going on, but I, I think that, like, it can be really, really powerful. Julie: Very much agree I wanna ask you one more, like, behind the scenes question, and I did not put this in your outline because I just thought of it, and I was like, “Julie, why didn’t you ask this?” Which is, I just kind of wanna know the minutia of, like, how you got on the Netflix show. Like, did all of the comedians happen to see the same flyer? Did you guys get, like, recruited at comedy clubs? Like, I just wanna know, like, that inside scoop. Macey: Kind of all of the above. Any- I think they, they sent out, like, a casting call, so anyone could have, uh, submitted, but there was a long application. The application was so long, I was like, “I’m not doing this.” It felt like, it was like, hmm. And then, um, the casting director reached out to my manager and was like, “I really want [00:29:00] Macy to fill this out.” And so I was like, “Okay.” And I like her a lot. I had s- I don’t know how I had met her or how she knew me, but maybe other comedy festivals or something like that. Yeah, auditioning for comedy festival. So I was like, “I’ll do it just for her” But I was like, “What a waste of my time.” I even… Yeah, like, they even asked in the… I can’t believe I got… I mean, I tried to be as honest as possible because I thought a lot of people were going to be like, “You know, I’m gonna win, and I’m the best of the best,” and all this. And I’m like, you know, I think it asked me, um, why I’d win, and I said, “I- I’m not gonna win.” And I was like, “There’s just no way I’ll, I’ll win a stand-up competition” Just because it’s so… I just think my type of comedy just isn’t really comedy competition type. But I also think it’s, you know, after this, I do think they Tried to have [00:30:00] a diverse style of comedy, for sure. They did a good job at that, but I, um, yeah, and I, I still ended up getting, getting it even though I said I wasn’t gonna win, so. Because they can’t… You can’t have all winners. Mm-mm. They gotta have some losers, so I’m like, “Pick me.” Julie: Macy, you have been such an incredible guest. Please tell everyone what you are working on, where you’re performing, what we should be watching or listening to, anything else you’d like to shamelessly promote. Macey: Let’s see here. I’d love to promote some of my… I’m going, uh, some of my road dates. Yeah, okay, so I’m gonna be in Houston September 25th and 26th. Uh, you’re in Dallas, right? Julie: I am, Macey: yeah. I’m coming to Dallas, too. So I’m in Palm Springs October 24th. I’m up here in Los Angeles. I’m running my hour on December 5th. Tacoma, Washington, January 17th. Dallas, January 27th, I’ll be there. All the dates and ev- tickets are on my [00:31:00] website. You can go there. Julie: All right, and, uh, all of that’s gonna be linked in the show notes, guys. Macey: Oh, wonderful. Look at you. Yes. I can… I mean, you have a My Quarterly Plan behind you, so it’s like you know what you’re doing. Julie: I mean, I’m not gonna lie to you, I don’t, I don’t write anything on it. It’s in a, it’s in a cute frame. Currently the months say April, May, and June. It is August. Macey: Okay. Julie: I’m pretty sure- Mm-hmm … those are from two years ago. Not even sure I could rewrite that out. Okay. But- But I am very intense with my digital calendar now. I thought I was gonna also be a big paper calendar person. I just wasn’t. But I think, I think it’s cute. Macey: Well, every year it catches up. Like, it’ll be April soon. Julie: At some point it’s gonna be right. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Macy, today we have talked a lot about getting comfortable with discomfort, finding the funny in terrible situations, and learning how to survive the moments you really wish weren’t happening, and I think we have established that you are extremely qualified to talk about all of those things.[00:32:00] I am qualified to talk about none of them. So naturally, I’ve opened an advice hotline. My friend has called in with some of life’s most devastating minor crises, and I’m gonna give him the absolute worst advice I can think of. Welcome to the Terrible Advice Hotline. Go ahead, caller. Caller: So someone held the door open for me when I was a little too far away, so I had to do that weird little jog. Julie: Absolutely not. Never reward that behavior. Slow down. Caller: Slow down? Julie: Significantly. Caller: So halfway through telling a story at dinner, my friend said, “Yeah, you’ve told me this before.” Julie: Okay, immediately say, “No, this is different.” Caller: But what if it’s not different? Julie: I don’t know that yet. Caller: Okay. I was getting off the phone with my boss and I accidentally said, “Love you.” Julie: Okay. The only way out is to [00:33:00] start saying I love you at the end of every call. Boss, dentist, DoorDash. It has to, like, become your thing. Caller: So I’ve been calling someone Matt for months, and I just found out his name is Mark. Julie: Okay. How many times has he let you call him Matt? Caller: Probably five. Julie: Oh, then this is actually Mark’s problem. Caller: But that’s his name. Julie: Not in this relationship. He had multiple opportunities to correct you. Matt is a decision you made together Caller: A waiter said, “Enjoy your meal,” and I said, “You too.” I Macey: wish you’d called sooner. Uh, there’s nothing I can do. Julie: And that concludes today’s terrible advice hotline. Andrew, I hope you got absolutely nothing useful from this experience. Macy, thank you for being such a good sport, and more importantly, for this entire conversation. There’s something you said today that I [00:34:00] kept coming back to, which was tolerate the ambiguity. You, you learned it in improv, but I love it as a way of thinking about the hard parts of life too. Sometimes we don’t know why something happened. We don’t know what we’re supposed to learn from it. We don’t even know when it’s gonna stop hurting, and maybe we don’t always have to figure it out. I love the idea of being able to laugh at something. Doesn’t mean that it didn’t hurt, and it doesn’t mean we have to be grateful it happened. Sometimes it just means pain isn’t the only thing we’re allowed to feel about it anymore. Macy, thank you for being here, for being so open, and for making us laugh at things we weren’t entirely sure we were allowed to laugh at. If this episode made you think of someone whose sense of humor has gotten you through some very unfunny things, please send it to them. And if you’re not a- already subscribed to This System for Everything, hit follow. Please leave a review. It really does help more people find the show. See you next [00:35:00] week