If a holiday tradition makes you want to fake food poisoning to skip it—this one’s for you. In this special holiday mini-episode, I’m giving you a permission slip to retire, reshape, or completely reimagine the traditions that no longer fit. Whether you celebrate Christmas, Hanukkah, Festivus, or just Team Cozy Couch, this is your reminder that traditions should serve you, not the other way around.
I’m sharing how my Jewish upbringing gave me a flexible lens on holidays, how to audit your holiday obligations, and how to build tiny micro-traditions that actually bring joy instead of stress.
This episode is brought to you by The Entrepreneur’s Death Folder:
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Less spooky, more smart. Because peace of mind is the ultimate productivity tool.
Rewriting the Rules: A Holiday Systems Check
I’ve always loved the idea of tradition. As someone who’s Jewish, I grew up with a year-round rotation of holidays, rituals, and meals—but Hanukkah? It’s refreshingly low-pressure. No giant feasts or hours of setup. Just eight nights of candles, small gifts, and time with family. That freedom has shaped how I approach every holiday.
But here’s what I’ve learned over the years: tradition can quietly morph into obligation. That’s when it’s time to pause.
Step 1: Audit Your Traditions
Start by writing everything down. Not just mentally, because your brain will skip the uncomfortable stuff. Make two columns:
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Traditions that fill you up
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Traditions that drain you
Be honest. Think about everything from the elaborate holiday dinner to the Elf on the Shelf routine that turns into a nightly panic at 11 PM. Are you doing things just because they’ve always been done that way?
Awareness is the first step. Once you see it clearly, you can do something about it.
Step 2: Keep the Core, Drop the Guilt
You don’t have to cancel everything. You just don’t have to do it the same way.
If hosting dinner feels like a logistical nightmare, consider hosting dessert instead or order catering. You. can also skip the cooking altogether and do a potluck picnic in the living room.
If gift-giving has become stressful and transactional, explore new formats: a shared charitable donation, one meaningful gift, or skipping it entirely.
You can honor the heart of a tradition without replicating the method. That’s not betrayal. That’s evolution.
And if someone raises an eyebrow? Remind them: you’re doing what’s best for your family right now. That’s a tradition worth honoring.
Step 3: Embrace Micro Traditions
My favorite part of being an adult is realizing I get to make up the rules. Enter: micro traditions. These are the small, simple, personal rituals that bring meaning without the pressure.
Think:
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Lighting candles and watching a favorite movie in PJs
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Taking a family photo by the tree or menorah in mismatched socks
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Writing down a memory from the year and tucking it into an ornament
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Having cocoa and doing absolutely nothing else
Micro traditions don’t need a Pinterest board. They need presence and they tend to be the ones that actually stick, because they meet you where you are.
Redefining Legacy: The Tradition That Changed My Perspective
There’s one tradition I’ve built that’s not warm or fuzzy, but it’s one of the most meaningful: The Entrepreneur’s Death Folder.
I know. Not the holiday vibe you were expecting.
But here’s why it matters: traditions are about taking care of each other. That doesn’t always look like cookies and carols. Sometimes, it looks like making sure your loved ones don’t have to dig through your inbox or guess your passwords if something happens to you.
It’s not a tradition anyone hopes to use, but it’s a quiet act of love that says: I thought of you, even in the hard moments. That matters more than any casserole or candle.
So here’s what I want you to take away: it’s okay to change. It’s okay to let go. It’s okay to say no. You’re not disappointing anyone by choosing peace. You’re modeling what it looks like to live in alignment. That might just be the most powerful tradition of all. Whether you’re decorating trees, lighting candles, or simply trying to keep your toddler from eating tinsel, you get to decide what this season looks like.
Let it fit you.
Find It Quickly
Mentioned in this Episode:
The Entrepreneur’s Death Folder
Review the Transcript:
Welcome back to the System for Everything podcast. Today’s system tip. If a holiday tradition makes you want to fake food poisoning to stay home, it’s time to call an all hands meeting with yourself and rewrite the family bylaws. Hi friends and happy holidays, whatever that means for you. Whether you are Team Christmas, team Hanukkah, team, cozy couch, or just team, get made of January.
This one’s for you. Before we get into it, I want you to take a breath and think about one holiday tradition that you could happily never do again. Maybe it’s the elaborate dinner that takes 12 hours to prepare and 15 minutes to eat. Maybe it’s the annual white elephant that always ends in mild resentment.
Or maybe it’s that one relative who insists on caroling when all you want is silence, you’re picturing it. Right. Good. This episode is your permission slip to reimagine, retire, or rewrite it. I should start by saying, if you don’t already know this, I’m Jewish, so my relationship with holiday traditions looks a little different.
We have this. Incredible tapestry of tradition and Judaism of meals, songs, rituals, holidays that show up all year long. But when it comes to Hanukkah specifically, it’s lighter on the formal traditions. There’s no giant meal or massive production. It’s eight nights of candles, small gifts and family. And honestly, I love that flexibility.
It means I get to look around and see how everyone else celebrates. I love the matching pajamas, the cookie exchanges, the gingerbread disasters, and genuinely love cheering people on whatever way you celebrate. I want to celebrate with you. I have learned something in my nearly 40 years.
Somewhere along the way, they quietly turn into obligations. And while I love the nostalgia, there is also a part of me that recognizes how much pressure we put on ourselves to keep things exactly the same. I mean, especially once we have kids or we marry into new families or. Simply have new circumstances.
So whether your family celebrates Christmas, Hanukkah, or Festivus, for the rest of us, we all have those traditions that have stopped feeling joyful and started feeling obligatory. Traditions are supposed to serve you not the other way around. So if something that used to bring joy now brings dread. It’s okay to make a new rule.
Today we’re gonna talk about how to survive those traditions you don’t love, and hopefully reshape them into something that fits the season of life here and now. All right, step one, audit your traditions on paper, not in your head. I don’t recommend doing this mentally. ’cause if you’re anything like me, your brain is gonna conveniently skip the hard stuff.
So grab a piece of paper, open the notes app on your phone. Make two columns, column one, traditions that fill you up. Column two, traditions that drain you. I want you to think of everything. Marathons Office, secret Santa Elf on the shelf. That one family gift exchange that’s been running since 1986.
Sometimes just seeing everything written out is very freeing, and you realize how many things you are doing simply because, well, that’s how we’ve always done it, but always doesn’t have to mean forever. If writing it down helps you to see the patterns, you might realize your favorite parts of the holidays have nothing to do with the big events.
It might be those quiet movie nights, a walk after dinner, or lighting candles with no background noise. All right, step two. Keep the core and drop the guilt. You don’t have to abandon every tradition that no longer fits perfectly. You can keep the heart of it and skip the rest. If the family dinner is a logistical nightmare, maybe you still host.
Cater it or people can eat at home and come to your house just for desserts. If gift exchanges are causing more stress than joy, maybe a shift to giving to charity together. Instead, if you’re too overscheduled, don’t do church and brunch and a photo shoot. Pick what fills you up. The meaning matters more.
Then the method traditions evolve naturally. New babies are born, people move. Families blend. So if something no longer fits, you’re not betraying the past. By adjusting it, you’re honoring the present. And honestly, your grandma probably won’t mind if you swap her favorite casserole for a Trader Joe’s version, as long as you’re still sitting together.
Step three, build micro traditions. Micro traditions are my favorite part of adulthood. They’re the small, repeatable things that mean something only to you. Maybe it’s making latkas from scratch together and watching the holiday. Maybe it is taking a photo by the tree or menorah every year in your comfiest clothes, even if they don’t match.
Maybe it’s just one quiet night of cocoa and writing down a memory from the year to tuck into a tree ornament. Micro traditions don’t need a production schedule. They don’t require the matching pa.
They just remind you that holidays can be quiet and still meaningful. And since we’re talking about what lasts, I have to mention one of the most meaningful traditions that I’ve built for my own family, which is the entrepreneur’s death folder, air Me Out. We think of traditions as the things we do together, but they’re also the ways we take care of each other.
Making sure your people feel loved, connected, and supported. And that’s exactly what the death folder is about too. It’s one thing to thank people for what they do for you, but it’s another level of care to make things easier on them. If something unexpected happens, your loved ones shouldn’t have to dig through your inbox or guess your passwords.
Having everything they need in one place is a way of saying, I love you enough to make this easier for you. It’s not a tradition anyone hopes to use. But it is one that will matter more than matching one’s pajamas ever could. And it’s a tradition that truly honors the people you love. If you wanna start your own this season, you can find the link in the show notes.
All right, we’re gonna close today with the system shutdown, my three favorite Christmas TV episodes that remind me why the holidays are rarely calm, but almost always worth it. Number one, the office. Be Christmas. It is peak awkward workplace holiday. I mean equal parts, cringe and charm. It still somehow manages to be sweet at the end.
Number two, parks and Recreation citizen. Nope. Leslie forms a citizen action group in the hopes of getting some work done. Everyone in the office is attempting to plan the perfect Christmas gift for Leslie. It’s about gratitude, boundaries, and really being seen by the people that love you all themes that we could use a little more of this time of year.
And number three, Ted Lasso Carol of the Bells, the perfect found Family Christmas episode. It is cozy, hopeful, and a reminder that the best traditions are often the ones we build from scratch. So whether you are lighting candles, decorating trees, or simply trying to keep your toddler from eating tinsel, remember, you’re allowed to evolve your holidays.
Traditions should fit you not the other way around. Thank you so much for spending a few minutes of your holiday season with me. If this episode gave you permission to simplify, adjust, or just breathe a little easier, please share it with someone who needs that same reminder. I’ll be back next week with our final mini system of the year, wishing you and yours happy holiday season.
That feels exactly right for you.
