Ever wish your team just got each other? What if the secret to a balanced, high-performing crew was hiding in plain sight—like in their temperament?
In this episode of the System for Everything podcast, I talk with Ashley Ebert, a powerhouse in the wedding industry and the founder of The Abundance Group. After scaling her own wedding planning company into a multi-market million-dollar business, she now helps entrepreneurs do the same—by leading with empathy, not ego.
Ashley introduced me to a centuries-old but surprisingly modern leadership tool: the team temperament model. And once she laid it out? It was like I could finally see why some hires worked out beautifully and others… didn’t.
Why Personality Frameworks Often Fall Short
We’ve all taken the tests—Enneagram, Myers-Briggs, StrengthsFinder. They’re great for self-reflection but tough to apply across a team. Because let’s be real: most of us only remember our own results. That doesn’t help when you’re trying to manage, motivate, or hire people with totally different wiring.
Temperament theory, though? It’s simpler. It breaks people into four foundational “colors,” each based on two axes: introversion/extroversion and relationship/results orientation. It’s easy to remember, deeply human, and most importantly, immediately useful.
Meet the Four Temperaments
Yellow: The Optimistic Connector
Extroverted and relationship-driven, Yellows light up a room. They’re charismatic, expressive, and magnetic. But they can also be scattered, overly optimistic, or use charm manipulatively when stressed.
Core needs: Approval, affection, attention.
Red: The Driven Trailblazer
Extroverted and results-oriented, Reds are bold, decisive, and fast-moving. They’re natural leaders—but can veer into bossy or controlling territory if they feel out of control.
Core needs: Credit for work, appreciation, sense of control.
Blue: The Thoughtful Developer
Introverted and results-driven, Blues are detail-oriented, analytical, and system-minded. They bring structure to chaos—but can get stuck in perfectionism or over-analysis.
Core needs: Solitude, safety, sensitivity.
Green: The Supportive Peacemaker
Introverted and relationship-driven, Greens are steady, compassionate, and calm. They thrive on harmony—but may avoid conflict or let resentment fester if unacknowledged.
Core needs: Respect, worthiness, low stress.
How This Transforms Your Leadership
Here’s where things get real. Ashley shared story after story of how these insights shaped her leadership style and helped her lead teams that actually function.
For example, she now spots when someone is operating outside their strengths and rather than reacting, she gets curious. Is that Yellow withdrawing because they’re not getting enough affirmation? Is that Blue freezing because the instructions weren’t clear enough?
As Ashley said, “Once you know who someone is and what they need, you can serve them in a way that helps them be their best.”
Hiring and Team Building with Temperaments
This model isn’t just for management—it’s a secret weapon for hiring.
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Need a detail-driven ops person? You’re probably looking for a Blue.
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Need someone who can energize a room and connect quickly? Yellow is your go-to.
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Want someone to lead with stability and calm under pressure? Bring in a Green.
But Ashley also warned: the goal isn’t to hire carbon copies of yourself. While hiring people with similar temperaments can speed things up in the short term, long-term growth requires balance.
She recommends:
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Start with your temperament: What are your blind spots?
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Define the role’s temperament sweet spot: What kind of person thrives here?
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Mix for harmony and diversity: Round out your team with complementary strengths.
Using Temperament for Repair and Retention
One of my favorite parts of our conversation was Ashley’s story of repairing a miscommunication with a team member. She owned her part, acknowledged where she’d fallen into her “Red” tendencies, and adapted her approach to meet her team member’s needs.
That’s not soft leadership—it’s smart leadership. Because the real magic of this system isn’t just in building teams. It’s in keeping them.
Connect with Ashley:
instagram.com/theabundancegroup
Review the Transcript
Julie: Welcome back to the System for Everything podcast. When in doubt, just hire someone exactly like you so you can both avoid confrontation and cry over the same spreadsheet. Today’s guest is Ashley Ebert, a wedding industry leader and the founder of the Abundance Group, a coaching and mastermind program for Wedding Pros, scaling past six figures after growing her own wedding planning company into a million dollar plus year market multi-market business with a team of over 30.
She now helps others build their empires with smart systems, proven strategies, and a supportive community. With Ashley scaling gets simpler and a lot less lonely.
Ashley: Hi, Ashley. Welcome. Thank you so much for being here. Hi. I’m obsessed with your radio boy.
Julie: Oh my gosh. Thank you. I mean, I think in another life maybe I could have been like, if, if I was acceptable of mornings, I think I could have been a morning dj.
You could. I think I absolutely could have. Obsessed. Uh, okay. We are gonna get started today the way we always do with the system. Reboot. A quick little reset to start our episode with some humor and humanity. So tell me, Ashley, what skill do you have that you are irrationally confident about?
Ashley: Do you know this about me?
I feel like you might know this about me. I am stupid talented at the claw machine. Like, okay, I did know that about you. I was like, it’s my one claim to fame. Everything else I’m not, I’m very mediocre at, but I, my mom used to send me and my, my best girlfriend of like 35 years. We used to go to a place. I live in Minneapolis.
It was called Circus Circus. It was like, you know, like a little arcade for kids. She’d send me with a 20 and I’d come home with like 40 stuffed animals and she’s like, I don’t even know how that works. But it was bags. Heather and I would have bags of these and yes, so this has grown up with me. So my daughter, every time she sees one, she’s like, mommy, win me something.
So. And it’s the only game I actually play in Vegas. You know how they have those like claw machines, claw machine, man, I’m, I am ticket to the bank on a claw machine.
Julie: I love it. Okay. Is there a fictional workplace that you think you would absolutely thrive in? Like the Peach Pit or Dunder Mifflin?
Ashley: I mean, no, because I have one in reality that’s real that I wanna work in and you know, probably what I’m gonna say.
Okay, so very big into the Disney lore. I’m a huge Disney fan. Julie and I talk about it. There is actually, I don’t know if you know this, Julie, in on Main Street in world, well, I don’t know if it’s in land too. If you look up in the windows on Main Street, those are offices where, you know, people have, like, you’ll look up and it’ll say like the makeup artist, the, you know, all this stuff in the little, uh, so I would work in on Main Street.
In Disney.
Julie: Okay. Well that kind of leads into my next question. ’cause I was gonna say, if you had to create like a fake Disney side hustle, like a princess party performer or like a custom dove whip caterer, like what would it be?
Ashley: One I would build, these are actually real jobs and every time I’m like, if everything goes to bananas, you know, I, I, at least I have these in my back pocket.
I would build, um, like custom Disney, uh, charcuterie boards. You can like, have delivered to the hotels. I love being in charcuterie. And then the second one would be, I would be, this might be a thing, but I would like, uh, plan everybody’s lightning lanes and all that stuff. And like live time, switch ’em up like that is, I, I do that like a boss.
So, you know, making sure we get on all the rides, like just. I have, I would have to be there with the family, you know, like go with them. ’cause I’d have to like change stuff live time. But like your Disney Lightning Lane concierge, I would, yeah, a hundred percent.
Julie: All right everyone. You have met the personality.
Now meet the powerhouse. Let’s jump into the real system of the day because while a dull whip business might be fun, Ashley actually helps entrepreneurs build something much more sustainable, a thriving and balanced team. Here’s my conversation with Ashley on the system for understanding team temperaments.
You have become like known for like the world of hiring and teams and now teaching about temperaments in teams. Can you gimme like a quick overview of just what that framework looks like? Like what are team temperaments and why do they matter?
Ashley: Yeah, so there’s so many things out there, right? Myers Briggs, Enneagram, all these different like personality assessments and the thing I, they’re awesome.
I was actually a psychology major. I was gonna go into marriage and family therapy. I love that stuff. Gimme a quiz, a personality quiz any day, all day. The, the difficult thing when you rise into a leadership position is for Enneagram, for example, I am a two wing three. I know what that is. I don’t know anything else.
A six wing five, like I, I have no idea what that is. It’s just so complex of a model, right? Like it’s so, there’s so many layers to the Enneagram that it’s really difficult to know and I, so I think they’re really good for self-exploration. But when you’re putting it into a team environment, it’s really tricky.
So I was obsessed with this about five years ago and I found a model and it’s called temperaments. And this is actually, this is like a 2000 year old way that medical professionals, psychologists have used for truly. A very, very, very long time. Um, I think it was like Aristotle or somebody that, like, they used to use it as a diagnostic tool, um, for illness.
And, and again, I’ll, I won’t nerd out too much, but, so it’s been around forever and it’s this idea and it’s always funny to try to explain it on a podcast ’cause I’m like, I’m always over here like with my hands trying to showcase it. But picture in your head, you know, four squares, two at the top, two at the bottom, and x.
Access is extroversion. The bottom is introversion. The left is relationships. The right is results. So like picturing like that in your brain, uh, extroverted relationship oriented person in that top, uh, left hand box is a yellow or what we call an optimistic connector. They are magnetic. They are awesome storytellers.
They, they, they walk into a room and you feel it. Um, they’re full of joy and again, they just, they’re sunshine. That’s kind of what I, you know, equate them to yellow’s. Like, what I wish I was, I feel like a lot of people say that, but yellows are a lit, like they’re very, so let’s talk about, I’ll do strengths and weaknesses of each.
The weaknesses of yellows is they’re exhausting, and they’re always moving, and they’re a, they’re intent. They’re a little much, sometimes you need to slow your roll, and especially if they’re not a healthy yellow, they use charm and flattery to get what they want. And so it, this is where it like, feels inauthentic and yucky.
So again, that’s like every, every temperament we’re gonna talk about has strengths and weaknesses. So the other thing with that is. Fascinating, fascinating research on this that actually in the world, there’s about 25% of each of the four categories, which I think is wild.
Julie: So it’s like pretty equally divided, and it’s in
Ashley: almost all.
So even like entrepreneurship.
Julie: And that’s what also so different about the Enneagram is, I mean, Enneagrams, uh, I mean, I don’t even know a single five in real life,
Ashley: right? Yeah. Or in like
Julie: business life.
Ashley: Yeah. So
Julie: it’s definitely, there’s some that are much more rare. So that’s really interesting.
Ashley: Yeah. And so it’s cool.
And again, I also, before I dive too deep, I always say. Anybody that can hear my voice needs to use this for good and not evil, because it’s very powerful. Once you know it, you’re like, whoa. Okay. So strengths and weaknesses, very, uh, blended throughout, uh, culture. Men, women, everybody, like every, it’s, it’s fascinating.
So, um, an extroverted results oriented person, um, the, you know, in your, in your brain, in your mind picture, you know, this is the top right. Um, this is a red, what we call a driven trailblazer. They are bold, they are decisive, they are powerful, they are moving. Like this is, you know, authoritative. They’re visionaries.
They’re they. And you would think when we think about either leadership or entrepreneurship, that most people would be reds not the case. It’s so fascinating. And again, reds, uh, so that’s the strength of reds. I think everyone knows what the weaknesses of reds are, right? They’re bossy, they’re, you know, domineering, they’re, you know, it’s their way or the highway.
This is what I think about when people say, I had a bad boss. And they were like, you know, right. Like, this is the quintessential crappy boss. So that’s reds. Okay, so moving on the introversion side. So again, picture your four squares. Right underneath the red. So the lower right hand side, an introverted results oriented person is a blue or a thoughtful developer.
Julie? Yeah. Strengths. They are in the details. They are. For me, it’s actually my least because, and it, they’re magical to me. ’cause I’m like, how do you do, I don’t, under my brain does not work that way. How do you do that? Again, systems, right Julie? I mean that’s why you’re perfection in this space. Systems building, SOPs, building process like this is a blues where they thrive and you always, I don’t know, for me, especially as a yellow, like you always want on blue in your life because they’ll help you not screw everything up.
So again, amazing to have kind of, especially in those roles, um, weaknesses. Sometimes there’s a level of perfection that’s expected that is unattainable in reality, in real life. Um, which then also leads to like, because they crave data and information, it can cause some like analysis paralysis. Like, how do I move forward?
I’m not sure. You know,
Julie: a hundred percent. Like trying to build that part of it. And it’s like, well just, I’ve had to learn to kick my own butt to be like, well, just. Do it, and then you change the system and figure it out for yourself. Like, you can’t have everything perfect before you start it. You just can’t.
Ashley: Yeah. And it’s, and it’s a challenge because, and the heart of this is to, is service, is excellence, is, you know, so it’s not in a, but not, it doesn’t come from a bad place. And let’s say you’re working with a yellow or a red, they’re like, let’s move. Like we gotta go, like, we’re just sitting here, we need momentum.
And that’s the other thing too, is, is if you can get a blue to have momentum, they are like unstoppable because again, that is their number, they freeze and, and that’s something that can be really tough to get through. So again, you know, the, the other cool thing is partnering, you know, a yellow and a blue and a uh, uh, red and a green, right?
Kind of helping each other move is I think is really great. Last and certainly not least, actually my favorite, uh, my husband is a green. But this is an introverted relationship oriented person. So your final square in your four models. So this is, uh, lower on the right. And again, this is, this is like my favorite.
Julie: This is what I think my husband is too. I need to make him take the test,
Ashley: compassion, understanding, kindness, like. They’re very go with the flow and they’re genuinely happy there. As long as it’s not against something they really care about. Like they’re usually pretty cool. Like I think my husband, we’ve been married 11 years together for longer.
I think he has picked a restaurant twice. Ever. And I’m like, you know, when we were first dating, I was like, do, how do you not know where you wanna go? Like, I’m craving Chinese, or I want some, I want some Thai food, or like whatever. Like, how do you not know? And he just genuinely is like, I’m just happy wherever.
And I don’t know, that’s exactly
Julie: how my sweet, sweet husband is. ’cause he’s like, ’cause he’s very much like, well, I like anything. And I’m the one that’s like picky. And he’s like, so like, I wanna do, like, what makes you happy? And I’m like, what? That’s so. And they want, it’s the same way with,
Ashley: yes. Oh, that’s so sweet.
And yeah, let’s go pizza tonight. And again, all these amazing strengths of, of greens. However, uh, they can be avoidant. They cannot lean into conflict. Um, they, again, they don’t wanna rock the boat, which can be a good thing, but they don’t wanna rock the boat so much that there’s resentment that can build up.
And, um, if you’re not careful and you’re not, you are not in tune with the green. That can happen, um, which can be a challenge to work through. So, um, again, so thinking about it, you know, picture in our mind it’s yellow, red, then below that, uh, blue green. The beautiful thing is once you understand who you’re speaking with, and this is where the magical part happens, especially in a leadership role, is once you understand who you’re speaking to, you understand what their innate needs are.
And that is the, this is the thing that actually. Makes the temperament model different than a lot of things that are out there, because every strength is also a weakness. So like for yellows for example, they are, they have all this energy and they can work a room, but they can be too much. Like, it’s that same, right?
Reds, they can move, they can make things happen and they can railroad people. So it’s like they’re all, everything is a strength and a weakness, depending upon how much their innate needs are being met. So with that, you know. Knowledge. If you see somebody, a team member, honestly anybody in your life not showing up in the way in their strengths, it means we have to intentionally serve them by meeting their innate needs.
Okay, next question is always, okay, Ash, what is everybody’s innate needs? Like what? What is the innate needs of each color? I’m gonna do this off the top of my head. I’m, you know, yellows, approval, acceptance, affection. This is, so, I always tell this funny story about my daughter. My daughter is, my daughter is my clone, so my poor husband.
So she, for example, I work upstairs in our house there. He’s a stay at home dad that takes care of her. We’re always in the house, a buzz together. And usually I’m up here working away, you know, doing, doing stuff with the Mastermind and, and all my, my crew and I come downstairs and I, I don’t know, I was either fired up about something or something was going on.
I was excited or mad, I don’t know which, but. I’m talking to him about it. I’m telling a story. It looks similar, right? They’re, this is what you get. I, I’m telling him a story and, and my daughter wants my attention. You know, she drew a cool picture or something she was really excited about and I was like, one second baby.
And then I’m talking to my husband. I’m like, one second baby. Okay, one second, baby. Yes, yes. Yeah. One second baby. And I’m going through my story. And then finally she goes, mama. You are the most beautiful mama in the whole wide world. And I’m like, okay. You know, so she is, um, she’s using charm and flattery, right?
To get what she wants. Her innate needs, again, attention, affection, right? Approval. So I have to, I hear that and I’m bing like, okay, we’re we, I’m not meeting her needs right now. And I turn to her and I look at her and I go, whatever you need, baby. Whatever you need. So I, you know, and it’s just a sweet like version of this, but that’s kind of how it works.
So then as her mom, I can see that as an indicator that she needs attention, which is one of her needs. So then I give it to her, right? And that’s where, again, you use this for good because you can use this. I mean, it’s helping people, you know, move into their strengths and have, be a more, a more healthy version of themselves, which I think as leadership, you know, I think of it as influence.
I think of it as you’re really, uh, not a boss. You’re a coach. You’re trying to have your team become the best versions of themselves. Um, so when you, yeah, when you know that and you know what their innate needs are, and you can lean into that. So for example, I, uh, my managing director at Simply Elgan is a yellow.
And if I ever have to give her bad news or I have to, you know, talk about performance issues, which is like rarely she is incredible. But if I do, I always have to build connection and I have to lead with the positive in that conversation. Otherwise, the life will drain out of her. I’m prepared as a leader that I’m going to, and this isn’t.
Manufactured or fake. This is just intentional. This is how I know to get the most connection together. The most acceptance of what I’m gonna say the most buy-in. And again, this is where people, you know, use it for good, use it for tender heartedness, for wanting to pour into other people. But so that’s example like four yellows, how this would look in real life reds, if you see them.
I can actually do it, but I won’t. I have, I’m a yellow red, so I’ll do a, a short version of it so my husband will know. If I start to talk with a very short cadence and my volume goes up immediately, I am, I’m moving into unhealthy red space. That is such a trigger or an indicator for those that are around reds and, and what Everybody goes like this, right?
You shrink because they’re. It’s overwhelming when you’re in that space and you’re, you’re experiencing that your energy kind of
Julie: takes over and it becomes kind of bigger than life.
Ashley: Yeah. Yeah. And so indicator or like, that’s an indicator, right? So then what our reds innate needs. So appreciation, credit for work.
Sense of control. So how this plays out. And I am not the best version of myself. So this is where like one of my actual, even though I’m a, a lean, very yellow. One of my top needs is sense of control. And that’s not that I have to do everything and be in control. That’s just like I explain it like, it’s like all the cogs in the machine are doing the thing they’re supposed to do.
And if one breaks, I lose my mind because I’m like, how does that fit the domino effect? And what else do I have to know? You know? So that makes me feel really frazzled. So for example, uh, I am an online, uh, business coach. So we have launches and we talk about our programs. During launch, I am stressed because there’s so many little components.
So what I have done, you know, I’ve been doing this eight years and finally I’ll tell my husband, we’re moving into launch week. Don’t, don’t take this personally. This is me feeling I am at capacity. And the thing about reds is they tend to have a really high capacity, but they still have a capacity. So being aware of when they’re really kind of hitting that, you know, what does that look like?
To pour into a red. The appreciation. Right. Uh, credit for work. My husband will say to me, man, Ash, you are working so hard and we are so right. We are so blessed to have you. You know, Henley’s so blessed to have you as a mom to show her what hard work looks like. Okay. Deescalated. You know what I mean? Like, and it’s like, okay, I am working hard.
That’s so true. Right. So that’s what it looks like for a red, uh, blues. Uh, you’ll have to tell me if this resonates. So the things that they really care about is sensitivity safety. Um, sometimes this comes in the form of like monetary safety. So like taking financial risks can be challenging and solitude.
So this is something like I just need. Quiet for a minute to think. It’s kind of the a
Julie: hundred
Ashley: Yeah.
Julie: Percent. Yeah. The only thing that I’m iffy on is the sensitivity, which I knew, like when I took the test, I was like, well, that doesn’t really resonate with me just because, and I think it’s them fighting each other because I am an Enneagram eight and I tend to steamroll say what comes into my head like in that sort of red capacity, even though nothing else about me is a red.
I guess except that I want like credit.
Ashley: Yeah. And yeah, and sensitivity, but who doesn’t? But I spot on. So sensitivity Julie, for you might look like, okay. You know, credit for work is important to me. And if you’re not sensitive to that, if you don’t understand that, that’s important to me, that doesn’t feel good.
So it’s like if you’re not sensitive to the fact and you’re not actually trying to understand me. Or if you like, push that off as like, that doesn’t actually matter. Julie, why are you worried about that?
Julie: Yes. Yeah. Don’t tell me what to, don’t tell me what the parts that care about the most. Yeah,
Ashley: no, a hundred percent.
So, um, so again, yes, that, that’s blue. So how do you, how do you pour into blues? Uh, one of the easiest things I think, which, which was actually challenging to me when I, we were my husband and I, ’cause he’s a blue or he is a green blue and he, solitude is one of his for sure. I’m a yellow. I wanna be together all the time.
All the time. Why? Why are you going? Why are you over there? Well, come on. We over here. And I used to take it like, oh, he doesn’t, especially when we were first standing, like, oh my gosh, he’s, he doesn’t like me anymore. He wants to like, he personally, for sure. Yeah. And nothing, nothing about it’s personal. No, not at all, except that
Julie: it’s only his personal stuff.
And
Ashley: I wanna admit, it took me way longer than it should have to act like we were married until I figured this out. I was like, oh, that should have not taken that long. But, uh, so for blues, just giving them that space, you know, listening and care. So like, let’s say the financial security is important, understanding that risk mitigation, thinking everything through and having Plan Z being on the same page as that.
And again, the financial side. I think for a lot of business owners, I’ll see like how this plays out in the mastermind of like. I need a really big cushion before I leave my W2. And that’s just what I, what I need. Um, so that’s just, you know, safety in it’s,
Julie: that was me. That was for a long time. I mean, I worked essentially, I.
Two full-time jobs. I ran a wedding planning company and it’s not like I only took on like three weddings a year. I mean, I was doing sometimes 20 weddings a year or more while I was working full-time for the Dallas Mavericks. And for me, I was like, I can’t leave because I need insurance. It was like I, I knew that like I’d have a steady paycheck and I could pay bills and groceries and things, but I was like, I don’t have that extra thousand dollars a month for health insurance.
Like that’s. So that one was very hard for me.
Ashley: Exactly. Spot on. And so I’ll see, so it all this, this also plays out from a coaching perspective. So I coach my temperament colors very differently, uh, because of the, what their needs are, right? Yeah. So I have, I have a blue right now that is in my mastermind and she is very okay to leave her full-time job.
Very Okay. Very like in my perspective. You know, jump, maybe build the parachute on the way down, maybe build the parachute on the way down. Like it’s just not her, her vibe. And that’s great, uh, that this, to know this about yourself I think is so good and so important, but, so right. You have to, every relationship you have in life, which I, again, I love this framework so much because it is so simple, right?
You’re like me, are not like me in two categories. That’s it. And that’s where again, we can like, play this out in application, in our partnerships, in our friend groups, in our, you know, families, wherever they are. This isn’t just as a team, as a leader, but it’s, it is very helpful as a leader. Again, that’s what I love about the frameworks.
Blues moving over to greens. So greens innate needs are sense of worth, respect. And then, uh, lack of stress. So this is y’all. I love my husband so much. Uh, when we gotta go, I have to give him like a 20 minute heads up. A heads up. I know you sits there for 10 minutes and then I’m like, babe, 10 minute heads up.
Okay. Five minutes. Okay. 36, second heads up. Uh, you know what I mean? And this is, it’s this idea of I kinda have to like prep him because he doesn’t, he doesn’t wanna feel stressed and like, or I can like pick up and go, cool, we gotta go in three minutes. Let’s see, well, let’s finish these things and go. Um, so like that’s a really great example of like real world application, sense of worth.
This is actually one of my husband’s biggest ones. So how do I, how do I serve him as a wife and show up for him in a way that makes him feel good uniquely to his temperament type? One of his most important facet in his life is to be a good dad and a good husband. Always been his whole life. He was just built that way.
I don’t know why I was blessed with having him as to get to have him as my husband, but it works out really well because I am ambitious and crazy and I do crazy things and I’m, you know, again, build a parachute on the way down and he’s like, guess we’ll figure it out. So I know for him, like, you know, right now my daughter is in a season where she’s just, you know, she’s seven, turning eight.
She is, and she’s her mom. So she’s a little bit of the pa a pain in the neck, let’s just say. In the best way, way, learning her boundaries and testing those boundaries. And she’s real smart. So that’s unfortunate. And you know, my husband gets a little stressed and he’ll, when Naked sharp with her, he is, it’s, he has a very long rope.
When he hits the end of said rope, we just, you know, I kind of go, okay, Henley, we’re gonna give daddy a day. Like, let’s let Daddy, you know. But during that time when he, he is sharp and he. Maybe raises his voice like this is like the, if fi all should meet Nate. He is like the calmest, sweetest dude. But like there’s an edge.
Like most people wouldn’t even think that it’s, he’s upset, but like, you know that he is right as your spouse, then that’s a trigger for me to go. He doesn’t feel respected probably from Henley, which again, she’s seven, so how much can she, you know, yes, we work on that, but man, whatcha you gonna do? You know?
And then if he raises his voice. His dialectic is, I’m a bad dad, so worthiness comes into play. So I can see this from a mile away. So I actually, before he starts to get really stressed, I will, I will take way more time and I will look him in the eyes and I’ll say, what a good dad, what a blessing Henley has to have you in her life.
Like, I can’t, I, I don’t know how you’ve created such a beautiful bond together, but man, I’m so proud of that. And so like I. I will know that that’s, uh, you know, he’s kind of, and again, you, you understand your spouses like micro movements and expression, like micro expressions. And so you can see that. And again, my goal in life is to always make sure that he knows how loved he is because of worthiness being such a key component in his needs.
And again, so it’s like when you, you see all these, you know, these colors, these temperaments in your world and in your life. Being able to deduce what people are and then show up out of love for them, I think is the most beautiful form of kindness that we have as, as humans together. And again, this framework I feel like makes it simple and actionable, which is why I’m so obsessed with talking about it.
Julie: I love that, and I love how passionate you are about it. So once someone, I mean, they understand their own temperament. So the big question becomes, you know, how do you use that knowledge then when you’re building a team? So let’s talk about hiring. I mean, how can knowing your own temperament help you avoid.
Hiring mistakes? I mean, when you’re looking at applicants and stuff, are there signs that a certain temperament might thrive or, or struggle in a role?
Ashley: Yeah, this is great. So it, there’s, it’s twofold, the first that you talked about, like knowing your own leadership, but the second is also understanding the, the, the role itself and what, uh, you know, strengths or success looks like in that role.
Easy, beautiful example is, you know, if you’re hiring a process, an operations person. They’re a blue all day, like they’re gonna thrive and do well. If you’re gonna have marketing or networking, you are gonna get a yellow on board with them. Sales, um, you know, reds are good at sales. Yellows are good at sales.
I mean, everybody, the other thing I wanna mention is everybody can thrive. Like, especially in a leadership role. There’s a, there’s kind of a misconception of reds would be a good leader. You know, the extroverts, it’s kind of the, the, the misconception, and I don’t know about you, but there is no worse temperament type to, to have as a boss than an unhealthy red.
So I don’t agree with that. I actually, I think I. Surprisingly that I think greens are some of the best leaders because they’re there for the team,
Julie: I think. Absolutely. ’cause they’re coming from the place of compassion.
Ashley: Yep. Empathy, understanding. Um, so actually for me, strategically, my manager of team development is a green, my sales is a yellow, my ops is a blue.
I’m kind of the visionary where I’m a yellow red. So, and again, knowing your own temperament type. Helps you understand where your weaknesses would be as a leader. And I think the number one skill that business owners that are scaling need as leadership, I always say, you know, the first jump you make is into, you know, out of the W2 economy and into entrepreneurship.
But I think the bigger jump is then building a team. That’s when leadership becomes your, you should be obsessed and learning and growing on leadership. Because that’s fuel to the fire. Just like marketing and sales is fuel, fuel to the fire. And the, you know, when you jump to be an entrepreneur, you’ve kind of, I don’t wanna say mastered that, but you’ve, you’ve done it well enough to have opportunity.
So now it’s transitioning into focusing on leadership and understanding who you are as a leader, but understanding what your weaknesses are as a leader. Fine tuning that. So, for example, this literally played out end of last week, early this week at the Abundance Group. Kelsey, who’s on my team is a green and I love greens.
I just surround myself with greens. I think I just love ’em all so much and I move fast and I pivot like crazy because I don’t know, because that’s who I just, that’s who I am to, to the poor greens. They’re just trying to like be there and support me. I’m like, I dunno, let’s go this direction. Oh no, just kidding.
Pivot. You know? So we had had a lot of iterations of her job and she was kind of the catchall. Which is stressful, and I’m just moving, I’m, I’m Hydroplaning and I’m just trying to like get this going. And she kind of stopped and there was some, uh, tension or frustration around a project and, you know, I kind of, I was being flippant and I shouldn’t have and said something and then that I.
Kind of landed really heavy on her and I didn’t notice, ’cause again, I was going a million miles an hour. And then we, we got together this Monday and we had like a big, like a two hour call, which was so beautiful and so great. And we really gave her the definition she needed in the role. I absolutely, uh, apologized for my shortcomings in that interaction.
And there was, you know, total repair in the relationship. And now we’re in total alignment of what she needs to be doing. And it feels great and she’s killing it like she is like in the last like five days, I have been so floored in what she’s been able to produce and do. Especially ’cause a, a project she took on was a really big one.
That’s how we leverage. And again, for me, I know I do this, I know I hydroplane and I know I can get sharp. You should have seen me when I was in my teens. Like I would just, I had no maturity about stuff. Right. And so for me, I, she was right. She was a hundred percent right. And again, there’s things that she missed.
Like it’s always two-sided, right? But I think as a leader, the humility to go, yeah, that is a weakness I had. And I, it did show, and I’m, I’m deeply sorry that, that that showed, and I’m deeply sorry that you were on the other side of me in my weakness, all of us, all leadership, all types, all temperaments.
But that ownership, I think on both sides creates that repair and that depth of relationship. Which is what you’re building when you’re in a leadership role, when you’re building depth of relationship and understanding of one another. And so that’s where I think, you know, I had talked about understanding what the role, you know, how you thrive in the role is one of the ways you can use temperament types.
But also, and like you said, in your own leadership, what’s your weakness and how does that, what’s like, what is it like to be on the other side of you when you are in an unhealthy space? Um, and acknowledging that those are two things. The other thing I’ll say, kind of a. A bonus advanced, um, version of this is if you wanna move fast.
And you wanna have harmony hire a lot of similar colored temperament types because you’ll understand each other very innately and you’ll, you’ll be able to move quickly.
Julie: Okay. So that’s like a, a positive thing versus I guess in my head I was thinking like, well you don’t wanna hire someone just like you, like, ’cause then you’re missing out on the other strengths.
Ashley: Yeah. It depends on what your objective is. If you wanna like really mo, if you want momentum. Right then that’s a great way to do it. However, if you want diversity of thought, depth, robustness, then hiring kind of in each temperament zone and in each type of role is key. So, you know, if, for example, obviously I coach a lot of wedding professionals for, you know, for our team for like execution for planners, right?
Blues are great. If we’re in a space where we’re, where we’re thriving and growing quickly, we’ll hire a lot of blues because they understand our onboarding process, our training process. They’re gonna go execute well. The competency is there, let’s go. And if we want a, like I say, a well kind of well-rounded team, ’cause both are good.
It’s just what season are you in, what do you need? And I think what tends to happen. What I have seen in the hundreds and hundreds of people I’ve coached to build teams is they’ll start with similar temperament types. They’ll get to a point where they’re kind of, they’ve kind of met that, that momentum need, and then they’ll start to diversify.
I think that’s the natural trajectory and Totally okay. Yeah, it’s not necessarily a, it’s not a good or a bad thing, it just is.
Julie: Ashley, this has been so fascinating and I’m obsessed with your passion, and I honestly could probably talk to you about this for like three more hours. Like, we may need to have you back on and have people send in questions.
’cause this is just like, I, I think it’s so fascinating. I love it. And I just also love anytime I talk to you and anytime I’m around you, ’cause you’re so, ’cause you are yellow and you’re so magnetic, um, and you really bring people in when you talk to them and they feel like. You make people feel very important when you talk to ’em, and I think it’s because it’s from a genuine place that you believe they are important.
And so I just thank you for that. That’s, I think it’s, you’ve got some beautiful qualities and I’m, I’m glad you’re my friend.
Ashley: Oh, it’s, uh, what a sweet, kind thing that fills my heart up. That is like, the biggest compliment I can ever get is to make people feel seen and heard and and loved on. And I realized.
I talked a lot. Sorry, Julie. I was very, you got me on my, no, I loved it. My most important like thing I talk about, I’m like, ah, I should be my yellowness. Just gotta
Julie: No, no, it’s good. But now I want you to tell people kind of what’s going on in your business right now. Are you promoting anything? Do you have anything new coming out?
Where can we find you online? Tell me all those things.
Ashley: Yeah. So online, uh, we’re just at the abundance group on Instagram. DM me. If you’re curious about this, we have some awesome tools and resources. We have an actual quiz that you can take to figure out what color you are. That’s just, uh, the color quiz.com.
You can go and check that out, like if you’re curious. It’s really fun. Mastermind itself, the Abundance Group, mastermind cu, that’s a program I’m absolutely in love with. This is actually, I’ve been doing, I’ve been a, you know, a part of the abundance group for about eight years and this is, uh, we launched this in August of last year.
It has been my favorite. Offering we’ve ever put together because it’s not only one-on-one coaching with me, it’s all the trainings and all the things I’ve built. But I think even more importantly, it’s a community. So it is,
Julie: and the people you have in it are such high caliber, quality a plus humans, and I.
I am technically in the Mastermind. Yeah. Yeah. And, uh, then I got a baby that happens. Right. I kind of fell off the planet. No worries. Yeah, it’s, I mean, it’s Julie fall humans, but it’s really in incredible what you’ve built.
Ashley: Yeah. And it, it, there’s a definitely a responsibility with that because at the Abundance group, it’s not just about getting right, like getting information from me, coaching from me.
It’s also about giving to the group. So when I. It is a true application process. It is not like a ta-da look. You filled out the forum and you’re in. It is like, I go in, I, I literally, um, me and Chatty g do deep research. I then click around to people’s websites, look at the comments they make on social, like, are they.
Abundance group humans, you’re
Julie: the kind of coach too that people should know that they can trust because you are, you’re like lely in this way, and I, you know, I’ll buy anything Lely does because I trust her so implicitly, because talking about Le Imadi, but you won’t just take people’s money. You are like.
You will say to somebody like, you are not a good fit for this at all, or You are not a good fit for this right now where you are. Like, you really, you do, you put in that work first, and I think that’s important for people to know that they can deeply trust you.
Ashley: Yeah. I, I actually, uh, did it this week where I said, you know, love where you’re going, love where you’re at.
Connect with me in six months. I think you’ll be there and you’ll be ready. But, you know, it’s a, it’s a substantial investment. It is a, it is a. A heavy lift. And it’s a heavy lift for a couple reasons. One, because I know when that pings outta your bank account and makes you take action, right? Like, oh, okay, that button screw mastermind ping.
Alright. Lenny Voxer, Ashley, you know, and the other side is, I have it at at that level of investment. Because when owners take that step, I know they’re serious. I know they’re coachable. I know they’re in it. I know that they’re ready to invest in themselves. And I absolutely. You know, for your listeners that aren’t super familiar with me, I hope we get to connect, but like bottom of my heart, I will deliver.
I work so hard as a coach and I know so many people have gotten burned by crappy coaches. I mean, I literally, right. I, it is, it’s, it’s such a bit, frustrates me to know end that someone could not have it is such a responsibility. On my end, and so I say like, you know, I expect you to 10 x your investment over the, you know, over the time that we’re together.
I need to be able to deliver you those results. And you know, so fortunately we always have literally 100% of the time, especially when our intensive, we used to have something called the Building Your Team Intensive. We had a hundred percent student satisfaction rate, hundreds and hundreds and hundreds. I take it very seriously.
It is the reason that I think I was put on this planet outside of being, you know, Nathan’s wife and Henley’s mom, but to help small business owners. Feel the freedom. You know, you know, Julie, we were talking, um, at Creative Educator. Like I took all of January off and I was in Disney for a month. I knew, you know, my team knew if they need anything they could call me and, but I literally, I didn’t work for three and a half weeks and we had the time of our lives in Disney.
You know, and that is, and you know, not everybody, that’s not everybody is like. Goal in life, definitely mine. Like I, I’d literally as the top of the show, I was like, I’d, I’d work there if I could. That freedom, that freedom is what I think people leave the W2 economy to do, and we lose it because we get so in the, what we, I call the hustle loop and it doesn’t feel like freedom anymore.
And I just desperately want that for, for everybody.
Julie: Ashley, I have loved this conversation, and I’m gonna just tell you right now, you’re coming back at some point. I’m, I’m just not, I’m so tacky. I’m not even gonna ask you. I’m just telling you. Now we are going to wrap up the show with the system shut down.
We’re gonna log off some of the serious stuff. And normally this is where you just hear whatever I’m thinking about and it’s random and it has nothing to do with anything. But we’re actually going to stick with a topic we’ve touched on and that I know Ashley loves, which is Disney. So I wanna know, Ashley, what is your go-to Disney comfort movie and what temperament would that main character definitely have?
Ashley: I love this segment of your show. Thank you. Like, how one is this, right? Uh, so, okay, I, can I say my favorite? Well, she’s not a main character, but she’s one of my favorite characters. I’ll tell you the main character, and I’ll tell you mine. So, Encanto, Isma, FVE, um, Mirabell would be a green without question.
Louisa Louisa is my favorite girlfriends of red all day. And you wanna know what’s funny? If you watch her like, uh, I very strongly resonate with her, like main song, Louisa’s main song. And most of the background of that song is red. Like he’ll look and you’ll like, Maribel’s dress has like green hues to it.
Like oftentimes the color that we. It’s like inside out, right? You think about inside out, joy is yellow, anger is red. Like, so it’s, it’s fascinating. We, we feel these colors and we see, and we have like a deep connection to these colors because I also think they appear in nature. I think they appear in our, our ecosystem in a whole bunch of different ways.
And Disney picks up on that like crazy. So yeah, ENC, contos my jam. I mean, the other thing is y’all, I have an Olaf tattoo. Have you seen it yet? Julie? Did I show it to you? I saw it on Instagram. Oh, off. Sorry. On Nice. So I mean, but frozen, I mean, I just have a 7-year-old and that’s a little played out. If I have the remote, it’s in canto all day.
But yeah, too funny. Uh, my
Julie: all time favorite is Belle, the book Nerd. Mm-hmm. Uh, wears the ribbon and the bow in her hair. Would you say she’s a blue? I feel like she might be a blue.
Ashley: Yes. Yes. She’s wearing blue. Like her in the main, like her first scenes, she’s in blue. A hundred percent. Yeah. She’d be a blue.
I love it.
Julie: My, my daughter’s just now kind of starting. She, she loves when I sing and she gets very like, ah, and just like looks up at me. But she’s now starting to really like when we sing some Disney songs for her. So I’m very excited about that phase. She is five and a half months.
Ashley: Oh, I was gonna say six months.
I’d have been real close. Oh, nice. I’m in real close. You and I have had some amazing Voxer chats. Yes. At like one in the morning when I was awake. For whatever reason, I was awake and I was awake with the baby. It was amazing. Yeah. You had a reason why I was awake. Who knows? Probably watching Encanto. Okay.
Let’s be honest. Let’s probably watching Encanto. This has been so much fun. I do lots of podcasts, but like I’m you, you, I, I will be a regular on your show if you would like. This is much fun.
Julie: Yes, please, everyone. You heard it here. We have to hold her to it. This is a binding contract. I’m pretty sure. I had Paige Griffith on from the legal page before and I’m pretty sure she would agree.
That’s a binding contract.
Ashley: It’s a hundred percent. Can I tell you one of my favorite Julie moments of all time. Oh my goodness. I don’t know what it’s gonna be, but Sure. Okay. So we, it was when we first met. Okay. I don’t remember what conference we were at. We were at some conference and you were a speaker.
Julie: The, the first time we met in person was at Brandy Gars wedding. Yeah, yeah, yeah. CEO Summit in 2022.
Ashley: Yeah, that sounds right. Yeah, that sounds right. And you were so sweet and we were, I think we were just hanging out, chatting and you, you confided in me that you were a little nervous at the, the talk that you were gonna do.
It’s a great, it’s a, it’s a super high caliber group she brings together. So like, I totally like, you know, and I, for me hearing you speak about it, hearing you speak about like, the passion of the topic. I’m like, I gotta go. I, I wanna be in the room when she delivers this. And you freaking rocked it. It was so much fun to watch you be in that environment, talk about something you’re passionate about, pour into that group.
So it was just kind of a cool moment where I got to see. The, the thoughtfulness behind the scenes. And then I got to see the, like, implementation of it in, in front of the scenes. And it was really fun to like have that duality. You have no
Julie: idea. Because that’s also my favorite Ashley moment because Oh, funny.
Yeah, I, I was like, I was up against, ’cause I did like a breakout session, so I was up against like two other sessions. Mm-hmm. And they were like powerhouse sessions that I was like, a lot of people are gonna wanna go to those. Like, I was like. Nobody’s gonna come to mine. And my husband was so sweet and he was like, well, you know what, if no one comes, then you can just practice and you got it under your belt.
And I was like, thank you so much. You’re so sweet. And it was, I had a, a small group. Um, but you came to it and you were. You talked during it, you asked questions, you were engaged, like you helped other people be engaged. And it made me feel so much less nervous and I was just like, Ugh. Like I was so grateful.
You have no idea.
Ashley: Well, and your nerves didn’t show at all. It was just like, this is what you do, and you were up there and helping and. I love that. I, yeah. Wish I’d have done that. Been a little more, yeah. No favor. You here. I don’t have a
Julie: degree. I did not finish college.
Ashley: That’s all right. It counts. You have more of one than I do, so,
Julie: alright.
Well thank you Ashley, so much for being here today. We will definitely be having you back everyone. Um, you can find more about the podcast or find show notes@dallasgirlfriday.com slash podcast. Come over and find me on Instagram at Dallas Girl Friday and uh, tell me what your favorite Disney character is.
’cause now I gotta know. Thanks y’all.
